CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

My relationship with Flora completely changed from this time on. Mrs Grose had let out a little cry when I had asked Flora my question. I, too, cried out when moments later I saw something across the lake from us. "It's her! It's her! Over there, across the way!"

I felt both frightened and happy to see Miss Jessel looking at us from the other side of the water. I was happy because now I had proof for Mrs Grose that I was not crazy. There she was, standing very clearly before us all, including the frightened Mrs Grose. And strangely enough, I gave that horrible woman a look of thanks that she seemed to recognize. She was standing exactly where Mrs Grose and I had been before we had walked around the lake. The housekeeper's eyes did not move from the place I pointed to, and her face had turned white in expectation of what she might see. Flora's reaction truly surprised me. Instead of looking in the direction of Miss Jessel, she turned toward me and stared seriously into my eyes. I was frightened by this look she gave me. I did not know she was able to feel such anger. It seemed that she blamed me for her unhappiness, instead of that horrible woman watching us in the distance. Even though I knew she had seen the ghost, I suddenly felt a great need to prove it.

"Look, you poor little girl! Don't pretend that you don't see her. She stands clearly before us all." The look on the little girl's face grew even more serious, making her seem much older than she really was. While this troubled me a great deal, I also became troubled by the fact that Mrs Grose seemed upset with me too. The old housekeeper turned her face to me and shouted, "How horrible you can be! There's nothing over there!"

I looked back toward the other side of the lake and saw the woman still standing there. She had been there for more than a minute now. I immediately took hold of Mrs Grose and turned her body toward the lake, forcing her to look at the woman across from us. I pointed directly at the ghost and shouted, "There! She is looking directly at you. Her eyes are on you. Don't tell me that you can't see her!"

Mrs Grose looked long and hard at the place I pointed to. When she finally turned to face me, I could tell that she had seen nothing. It was clear that she had many different feeling inside of her at this moment. I could see she was angry with me and surprised at my behavior. Yet, she also believed that I believed in what I saw. She pitied me for this.

All of my power had now been lost. It was no longer just the children against me. They now had the support of their housekeeper.

"Miss Jessel died. We all know it. Flora and I know it. She's not there and she can't be there. This has all been a terrible game, a cruel game! And now it's all over. Come, little Flora, let's quickly go back to the house."

Flora looked at me with the same cold eyes, and then, taking hold of the housekeeper's dress, said, "Why are you so terrible to me? There's no one there and there never has been anyone! I hate you!"

At this moment, she suddenly lost all of her beauty and purity. She looked terrible now. Putting her arms around Mrs Grose, she cried, "Let's leave her! I want to leave her!" The two then turned away from me and began to walk back toward the house.

Mrs Grose looked back at me several times with frightened eyes. Meanwhile, Miss Jessel continued to stare at me from across the lake. She had not been there to prove that I was not crazy. She had been there to destroy me. I knew then that the words spoken by that pitiful child were not her own. They were the words of Miss Jessel.

"You are now gone from me, Flora," I shouted to them as they continued to leave me, "Their control over you is too strong, and it seems you prefer them to me. I have tried very hard to help you, but I've failed. Goodbye, Flora!"

I cannot remember what exactly happened after that. I just recall having the smell of wet grass in my nose. I guessed from this that I had fallen to the ground and cried crazily with my face in the grass. I got back on my feet, wiped the dirt away from my clothes, and began the long, hard walk back to the house.

I could not cross the lake, because Flora and the housekeeper had taken the boat. I was forced to walk through the darkness of early evening. When I finally managed to return to the house, I went straight to my room. There, I found that Flora's bed and clothing had been taken away and moved to Mrs Grose's room. I did not see them for the rest of the night. However, much to my surprise, I did see Miles quite a lot. This night proved to be a very important one. Although the day had been terrible in every way, at the end of it, I felt a strange kind of sad comfort. I had decided not to bother Miles anymore. He wanted to be free, so I decided to let him have his freedom. I changed my clothing, and then went to the classroom to sit quietly next to the fireplace and enjoy a warm cup of tea. I was surprised when, at around eight in the evening, he entered the classroom and sat down near me in front of the fire. Neither one of us said one word the whole time. Even though the fire was going strong, I felt nothing but coldness around me.

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